Avoidance and lack of focus

So I'd rather be doing anything but writing.

That is the struggle I am going through every day.  I LOVE to write.  I understand that when I write I am creating.  Creating something completely new and something than did not exist until I wrote it.  I give birth with my words.  However, it is a very painful task.  Well, that isn't exactly write.  I don't really find it painful once I start writing.  Usually the words start to flow right out.  I don't actually stare at a blank page for too long.  And when I am writing, I don't really think about time.  It all just seems to melt away and I go into that zone where what is in my head comes rushing out on paper.  However, I avoid writing.

Since I have been participating in Teachers Write this summer, I have been trying to focus on writing.  I started this blog and have written a couple of posts and have a few more in the drafting and pre-writing stage.  I have also worked on the exercises and been very satisified with my writing thus far.  I enjoy it.  I wake up and check the Teachers Write page first thing.  I get excited about the task for that day.  I have even commented twice now and I have enjoyed the feedback.  But every day I avoid writing.

It is 10:00 pm now.  I put off writing until I am laying in bed, ready to go to bed.  Why do I do that?  I have had multiple opportunities today to write. I could have wrote in between the cleaning cycles.  10 min clean. 10 min write.  But instead I perused the internet: facebook, twitter, instagram, gmail, and pinterest.  I took a short nap- I could have wrote then.  I had a hundred minutes in the day that I could have chosen to write and yet I didn't.  I avoided writing.

So, what does this tell me about my students when they sit down during writer's workshop to write.  I think I can understand the sudden need to use the restroom, to work with a buddy, to draw pictures, to escape to the counselors or the nurses, and oh, didn't I leave something in the cafeteria early that I need to get now?  They avoid writing every day.

One of my big take aways is how important it is to have a project in mind.  I read a lot of the other teachers participating and they seem to have a story to write.  I am just writing for the sake of writing.  I enjoy the exercises but they are not taking my writing into a direction where I feel like I am accomplishing something. So rather than just write today, I am working on my blogging articles.  I have purpose in the blogging articles.  Rather than spend all our beginning time working on how to come up with an idea, I think maybe I need to spend more time with my students coming up with a writing project.  What do they want to write each day?  There will be time enough to work with them on exercises that will help them add more sensory details or voice to their characters.  To start, we need to have an end goal in mind.  Even something as simple as the Nanowrimo challenge to write 50,000 word novel has given me motivation in the past because I had a clear goal.  I need to start with identifying writing projects with my students.  They need a reason to want to write and not put it off.  I need to want to write every day.